i'd never change. not for you, not for myself either.

 

 

you & i - part I

22nd March, 2011

 he's annoying, he's hilarious, he's the world's biggest jerk, he makes me want to scream, he ruins my day and saves it at the last minute, he drives me crazy, he's out of his mind, i hate his guts, and he's everything i want.

26th May, 2011

he's hurt me so much more than the others. when i think of Brian and how he tried so hard to make me happy, it seems ridiculous and unfair that i find myself falling for him instead.

17th July, 2011

i realised i've been dwelling on the negative side of our relationship. when i recount our times together, i actually find that the happy moments outnumber the unhappy ones by far. i also realise that i haven't ever really tried to understand everything that goes on behind the impassive mask he wears. i've hurt him just as much. probably more.

 7th September, 2011

i don't know... something's changed. in situations where i expect him to pass one of his characteristic biting remarks, he catches me off guard by being undeniably sweet. and that leaves me confused, speechless. all the defensive retorts that bubble up out of habit are rendered pointless.

28th October, 2011

it scares me sometimes, how incredibly nice he can be. it was so much easier to convince myself to hate his old self. i wish he'd bring back to life the jackass of a person he was, or maybe just go away. as much as either of these might hurt, it's probably best for me. best for both of us.

14th December, 2011

i look back to my younger self and she makes me want to laugh. i wonder if she had any idea what she was getting into. if that girl knew how much i cared about him now, she'd think i'd lost my mind. come to think of it, i think so myself.

4th February, 2012

sometimes i wonder if he knows. something tells me he does. and the fact that he sticks around anyway is comforting.

21st March, 2012

it's been a week since he told me he cares and i find that i still can't get my head around that piece of information. i'd always thought that i was a kind of pastime he engaged in when he had nothing better on his hands... well not always. there had been moments when i'd believed that there was so much more to it but then i'd eventually wave it away as a product of my hyperactive imagination. i wouldn't be surprised if his latest confession is one of those as well.

3rd April, 2012

today when he asked me why i like him, i found myself floundering for a reply. it isn't that i don't know why, it's just that i can't really pin it all down in words. and even though he got no fitting response, strangely enough, i know his question wasn't left unanswered.

5th April, 2012

lately, i've been thinking about the things that are going to change. he tries to convince me that it'll last but his attempts are futile. there's a nagging feeling that this is just momentary and insubstantial. i try to rid myself of it, but the feeling persists. in the end, i decide it's best to give up. i instruct myself to stop worrying and lose myself in all that we have for now.

TooBusy ToBlog-phase continues...

   anyway, here's a song that i can't get out of my head:

there's something about her voice... and the video (the actual one which i can't share here because of all the copyright stuff.)... 

it haunts you.

oh and here's a picture which made me smile:

Swann vs. Swan

 haha!

this made my day

Cristiano Ronaldo

i love him so much :')

Anonymity.

strange thing that. she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it.
   They don't know who I am,  they only see what I show them. 

   They don't know who I am, so I can let them in on everything. They'd judge me - that's what they all do - but their verdicts are insubstantial because they do not know who they are pointing fingers at. 

   They don't know who I am and that gives them the courage to be brutally honest.

   They don't know I am and that makes it possible for me to say exactly what I have to say, shorn off all pretense and politeness. 

   They don't know who I am, so I needn't bother to defend myself.

   They don't know who I am which means I have a place to hide.

   They don't know who I am, so I can be who I want to be. 

   They don't know who I am, and that gives me the power to get away with anything.
she did quite like it in the beginning. but with time she began to realise, with anonymity comes invisibility. and that is a price she isn't sure she's willing to pay.

P.S. forgive me for my absence, my *innumerable* readers. (x i can't offer you an explanation, it's just that blogging stopped feeling right for a while. but i'm back now... i think.
   oh and:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LUKE WRIGHT!