Ray: Part I

meet Ray.

Tuesday, 3rd March, 2009

this is a note from a someone to the someone who reads this sometime in the future.
    you have come back because yes, we need to talk. there's lots i need to tell you but right now, these are three things you need to keep in mind:


never turn back on a choice you've made.
   you are the most indecisive person i have ever known. considering the amount of time you spend in making a decision, people would expect it to be a well thought-out one, something you're completely sure of but yeeeeah. if only. because all you do do in the time you spend 'deliberating' is come up with ideas of where each choice could lead you which, actually, is pretty sensible except your ideas AREN'T. they're the most far-fetched, insane stories ever. and when you do make up your mind, it's only because you've run out of time and you just pick whatever.
so basically, we've established that you, my dear, have a lot of reason to regret the decisions you make.
   it'd be real nice if  you could try and change yourself but i know that's asking for far too much. so what i'd like to ask of you is to stick to the path you chose to follow, no matter what. there's no point feeling sorry for yourself if things don't turn out the way they're s'posed to, it's your fault you landed in the shit. get over it, believe that you can change things and go ahead and make every effort to do so.

never ever give anyone the ability to hurt you.
   i understand, over these years you've come across people who've started to matter you. it only makes sense that the things they say affect you. you think that being hurt really isn't your choice to make.
it is.
ever heard of the word 'detachment'?
   i'm not asking you to live like this hermit whose given up all worldliness or whatever. i'm not asking you to give up your ability to feel. i'm just saying that you and i are both well aware of how ultra-sensitive you are and all i'm asking you to do is to learn how to curb it. sure, build up relationships with people, make them strong and everlasting. but don't you ever, ever give away every inch of yourself to anyone. not even to the person who you think is closest to you because honestly, he/she isn't. they never really are. you may think that they'd never even dream of hurting you, but truth is, they're the ones who're most likely to. after all they're the ones with the strongest hold over you, aren't they? 

don't you dare shut out the voices in your head (us).
   because we both know they (we) are the only things that keep you sane.