Thursday, 14 April 2011

Jon and Leanne

   hi. i'm Leanne. i'm a 16 year old girl, five feet nine. luscious curly brown hair, soulful hazel eyes. I've got creamy white skin and a nose so perfect you'd kill for it. dazzling smile, killer hips. smooth well-rounded thighs, slim long legs. i love pretty shoes, polka dotted things, my dog Mr. O, cheeseburgers and Josh Duhamel. i'm going out with the most popular guy in school, Jon.
oh, Jon.
6ft. tall. he's got jet black hair that's always a mess. sparkling green eyes coupled with a mischievous grin that makes hearts race. star footballer, math genius, prime candidate for future school Head Boy. and he loves me, adores me. we're the most talked about couple in high school, the most envied. what wouldn't all those girls give to be in my shoes - running their fingers through his hair, knowing what his lips feel like on mine... what wouldn't all those guys give to be the one holding me close, whispering wonderful things in my ear...
we're perfect, Jon & I. we are fucking perfect.

reality check!
*snap snap*
back to earth, hon.

riiiiiight. okay.
  hi. i'm Lanie. what? no, not Leanne! Lanie. i'm 16. no not five feet nine. i'm five-two. black hair which curls up at the ends on my good days but mostly remains wavy in all the wrong places. black eyes which look brown in the sunlight... maybe they're brown. i don't know. but definitely not soulful. no creamy white skin - i'm an okay colour. i've got a whole bunch of freckles dotting my upturned nose and thank goodness no zits. my teeth stick out a little inspite of having braces for 3 years. okay, okay so i didn't wear my retainers once i got the braces off but hey, my Ss sounded like Fs when i wore them! i'm on the plumpy side - size 34. not good, not good, i know. but don't blame me for not being one of those anorexics freaks who never gain an ounce no matter how gluttonous they maybe!
  yeah i do like pretty shoes but my feet are too big to ever fit into any. polka dotted things, i love! my dream: a yellow polka dot bikini which i'd probably look hideous in. i couldn't possibly live without Mr. O and cheeseburgers. Josh Duhamel <sigh> sex God.
  i've been dating this guy from my math class for the past year and i'm happy. Jon? Jon who? Jon Barett? Jon Barett and ME? ROFLMAO!!! someone's been playing a sick joke on you. he belongs to another world, love. a world which has no place for simple souls like me.
  this Leanne person you're talking about... hmm. she seems like quite a thing, eh? but you know what? she's wrong. well maybe not entirely wrong. i can't say about others, but i can say for myself - i'd rather be plain old Lanie than step into Leanne's shoes. i'd rather have my boring black hair with its unpredictable moods, eyes of no definite colour, imperfect teeth and all. i'd like to have her figure though. i love my Alex. yes, his dorky glasses too. he's a little reserved and shy around girls but we've known each other for 5 years so he's comfortable with me. doesn't enjoy the spotlight, gets pretty average marks, can't kick a ball further than half a metre. yet i wouldn't trade him for a million Jons. also, i'm content just knowing what it's like to kiss him and not being able to mess with his hair much since he's very touchy about that.
Alex & I - we sure as hell aren't any Jon & Leanne. but Alex & I - we're perfect. we are fucking perfect.

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