Sunday, 22 January 2012

five pictures i randomly feel like posting

Mr. Krabs
i had a very (pointless) expensive weekend and i realized, when it comes to money, i really need some help. |:

Takashi Morinozuka
Mori sempai is officially the most handsome anime man to have ever been created. <3

this is to a certain someone who i'm currently finding unbearably mean. ><
yeeeah. the thing is, i've been trying to write lately. it's turning out to be harder than i expected.

Sven Vollfied & Train Heartnet (Black Cat)
Cole said this picture reminds her of us - back in 8th grade, i was Sven Vollfield (eyepatch+hat guy) and Cole was Black Cat. so this one's for all the anime we died over last night. :D

Friday, 20 January 2012

   i started obsessing over him a week back. Lucas Piazón. such lovely silky brown hair, and his SMILE! oh his smile... <love sigh> don't you simply hate it when men do that to you?
   he turned eighteen today. and i'm on my way to sixteen. i mean, think of all the POSSIBILITIES!!
- i go to England, meet him at a bar. it's love at first.
- i go to Brazil, bump into him in a random mall. our eyes meet, sparks fly. it's meant to be.
   if only, IF ONLY it would all work out!

Thursday, 19 January 2012

a second chance.

   i'm supposed to meet him at six.
accustomed to my unpunctual ways, he'd begs me to make it on time. just this once.
   5.49 and i still haven't made up my mind.
   for the first time i'd put my needs first - i'd done it for myself. if i choose to go back now, everything i've achieved in the past few months will be rendered inconsequential. do i really want to risk it?
   but then again, doesn't he deserve a chance? everyone has their faults, their imperfections. and somewhere, buried beneath the painful memories, i realize i want to hear him out. there's still a part of me that seeks consolation, some kind of  assurance that people can change for the better.
   a part of me says this will be another of one those meaningless exchanges. another part believes that this time, things will be different.
it isn't right, i know deep in my heart, but i decide to go anyway. for old times' sake.
   6.01: he's standing by our tree.
as i walk down the road, i remember that cold night... our first kiss. i had been warned but i was blinded, taken up by the magic of it all. if only i hadn't been that naive...
   i see him leaning against the trunk casually and i feel the old fear surfacing. the wild look in his eyes, his menacing grip... i should turn back.
   he sees me approach. i watch him tense. a strange expression flits across his face.
   i've seen that look before.
   i want to turn around but i can't. i want to run and scream and hide but i realize it's going to get me nowhere. i'd fallen into the trap a second time, and now i would pay the consequences.

Monday, 16 January 2012

i have no idea where this is going.

she'd always been convinced they were simply fooling around. now, three months later, she isn't all too sure.
   she's beginning to see things she'd never noticed before. and these give her hope. she finds a subtle message hidden in everything he says, but she isn't sure if she's reading it right. she can feel something in the air, certain things which need to be shared but she wonders why they're being left unsaid. she's worried she could be over-thinking things - she always does that. she doesn't want to get her hopes up too high - she's built innumerable castles in the air, only to watch them all fall apart. but she can't help herself, there's always the nagging 'what if'... what if this time it's for real. that's when she realises that this is something she doesn't want to lose. she's willing to give it her all, but before she does so she needs to make sure it's worth it. she's made lots of mistakes, and if there's anything she's learnt from them it's that once she's taken a faulty step, there's no going back - she will have to see it through to the end. and she knows she can't bear to have her heart broken again - she'd fall apart. but she finds it so hard not to believe that somehwere, concealed in the midst of his flippant remarks, is a promise that he'll never let her down. it's something she's yearned for forever - that safe, secure feeling of knowing she's loved - now that she can feel it's presence, shouldn't she just reach out and grab it? but then again she remembers those lonely dark nights she'd spent crying herself to sleep, all because her faith in goodness and love had blinded her and reality had hit her far too late. and that's when the illusion breaks.
   she's confused, lost, absolutely clueless. are things really only what they seem to be or is there so much more behind the walls they're both unwilling to break down? would she be making a mistake if she ignores this chance, letting it pass by because it seems to good to to be true? do the sparks she feels, the feelings she senses are being suppressed even exist?
   she's tired of wondering, tired of analyzing, tired of dreaming.
   she wishes she could just let go of herself and BELIEVE.

Friday, 13 January 2012

who knew AB de Villiers could sing?

   this song is exactly what i need to hear right now. (:
it's funny how i'm actually waiting for March so i can do my Boards. sure it's just another exam which nearly every 16 year old in the country will be writing, but it still feels pretty major. it finally feels like i'm getting somewhere in life. it's like i finally get to do something big, something that's gonna take me one step closer to being everything that i want to be.
   sure it's annoying, with all the studying to do, but it feels like i have a 'purpose' in life, lol. yeah, it's just an exam but... oh i don't know. i'm just know this is something where i really want to live up to everyone's expectations and i'm gonna give it my best. ^^
   oh and here's another song by him, it's in Afrikaans and  the second half of the video makes no sense but i like it. even though i don't know what he's saying, i think i get what he's trying to say:
Here's to y'all - make your dreams come true!

Sunday, 8 January 2012

and i thought it was all perfect.

I. out of place.
realisation: surface appeal = essential.

II. newfound interests.
realisation:  things aren't quite as terrible as they seem.

III. floating... a starry sky. celebrations - red and blue balloons.
realisation: the smallest things can be made special.

IV. bonding.
realisation: some people are invaluable.

V. long talks, long walks. endless summer days.
realisation: time can stand still.

VI.too many people, too many problems.
realisation: neglected and misunderstood.

VII. acceptance and confrontation.
realisation: some things must remain unsaid.

VIII. adventures and mishaps.
realisation: some people are just not cut out for certain kinds of things.

IX. expectations.
realisation: desire to surpass them all.

X. people seen in a whole new light.
realisation: there is still so much to learn.

XI. new connections.
realisation: they can never replace the old ones.

XII. beauty.
realisation: a desire to be recognised.

XIII. perfect moments.
realisation: they vanish in the blink of an eye.

XIV. windfall of changes.
realisation: i could lose you.

XV. the end is near.
realisation: time can pass by far too fast.

XVI. lonely, drunk, miserable.
realisation: it's all over.

XVII. pressurized, stressed, anxious.
realisation: unless i try, things can never get better. 

XVIII. inspiration, hope.
realisation: it's time to start afresh.

XIX. memories, strength, love.
realisation: i can do this on my own.

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Five reasons why i'm failing in my History exam on Monday

1. sadly:
it was all wet and cold this morning and i don't know why... i couldn't help but think about him, picture a 101 different scenarios, all with, perfect happy endings... *sigh*
   and that's what i did all morning.

2. i spent all afternoon watching the KFC Big Bash.
  i couldn't helpy myself - i finally got to watch him play! after nearly a YEAR!!
Luke Wright (Melbourne Stars vs. Melbourne Renegades)
he is such a gorgeous man.

3. i spent one part of my evening watching Charlie's Angels 1 AND 2, back to back.
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
   i remember pretending to be Dylan when i was a kid.
when i was a kid who didn't have a big fat book to learn up by Sunday.

4. the rest of my evening was spent catching up on all the happenings in the lives of the other super hot English cricketers oh and in the process, i found this:
my Jimmy is The Bomb. ^^

5. and now i'm off to bed.

Friday, 6 January 2012

happy new year, y'all!

   sorry, i was in Atlantis. i surfaced just yesterday, shed the fins, and got myself all set for my pre-boards. wish me luck, 'cuz boy am i gonna need it!
   i hope you guys had a wonderful NYE :) as for me.. well, it was my first NYE spent alone. my family was away - they came back the next morning. it was also the first time i spent a night all alone at home. i watched 6 movies - Inception, What Happens In Vegas, The A Team, Red Eye, The Sixth Sense, Wedding Crashers - and 5 episodes of Big Bang Theory (basically random things on TV), ate 3 mugs of Wai Wai, stalked my two favourite people on my Facebook friend list and called my ex-whatever-he-was and actually had quite a nice conversation with him. i'm not sure if you'd call it a conversation though, i mean, i was the one doing most of all the talking. he just sat there being dumb. which is surprising, because it used to be the way round before. back then i would've killed to make him shut up. i think he felt awkward. it must've been, considering the note we parted on... and then i randomly call him 3 years later. hmm. i probably shouldn't have. but whatever.
   it was a nice, laid back day and i kinda needed the alone time, so no complaints.
have a great year everyone. ^^
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