Monday, 14 November 2011

Alyss: overcoming obstacle A - Part I

another note from Alyss:
   a lot has been going on lately and um, the way things are going i know it's gonna go from a 'lot' to a lot LOT soon enough. so i figured it's time i need to shuffle my priorities and delete some of the so-called ones from my list.
   meet obstacle A, the first one that needs to be shoved off.
Obstacle A has been tottering on the brink of removal for one entire year. he's a very insistent little thing who is extremely hard to get rid off. just when you think he's gone, someone taps you on the shoulder and there you go! it's A again.
   but this time, things are gonna be different. drastically different. (oh, yes)
firstly, i'm starting off on a positive foot. i'm not heartbroken like i used to be in my previous attempts. i don't feel weighed down by the things i lack. pssshh, no way.
   i'm happy.
i'm happy that i know he's amazing. i'm happy to think i'll be able to limit our relationship to what it is now. i'm happy to be smart enough to walk away before it's too late, before watching him walk away with (a luckier) someone else can affect me. this time, i'm really going to let it all go. i've pined for him long enough. ONE YEAR. yeah. i know he isn't ever gonna reciprocate these feelings so this is the smartest option i have, right?
   i know this will work. i can feel the change in my bones already. but there's one thing that'll never change - he'll always be my first 'real love'. (:

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